GIDEON EST. 2023
Opening commission THE SOVEREIGN Cinematic oil portrait awaiting final approval
Mythic Gideon · generated / composited The sovereign surveys his kingdom.

The definitive record

GIDEON

The greatest cat
to ever live.

The record begins with a commissioned interpretation. The evidence follows.

Voluntarily painted by Vincent van Gogh.*

*Attribution unsupported by conventional historians.

Source material

Based on this image.

Exhibit 001A THE SOURCE Original photograph awaiting approval
Documentary source Original photograph of Gideon.

02

Early records

Royalty,
from day one.

Before the crown, there was the cushion.

Early records THE FIRST THRONE Documentary photograph
The First Throne · Early Period Gideon, still a kitten, seated upon what scholars now recognize as an early ceremonial cushion.

03

Areas of excellence

Four disciplines.
No weaknesses.

I

LOAFING

Structural integrity. Perfectly concealed paws.

LOAF STUDYWide or square crop
Load-bearing status: unconfirmed.
DIRECT OBSERVATIONClose facial study
Acoustic response study Unidentified noise detected.
II

STARING

No unknown noise goes uninvestigated.

III

STRETCHING

Gideon ensures every inch of the chair arm is fully utilized.

FULL EXTENSIONWide full-body study
Known range: considerable.
TERRITORIAL RECORDFurniture or infrastructure
Calling seat check is futile.
IV

OCCUPYING
SPACE

That spot was already his.

04

The Gideon archive

The evidence
continues.

ARCHIVE 01Close face
Facial study · 0.5× Extremely close range.
ARCHIVE 02Full body
Vocal study · full body Gideon breaks the sound barrier.
ARCHIVE 03Sleep study
Sleep study Perfect sleeping position, every time.
ARCHIVE 04Cliffside rescue
Cliffside rescue study He’d save you if you were falling off a cliff.
ARCHIVE 05Fraternal conduct
Fraternal conduct Despite overwhelming personal greatness, Gideon remains committed to his family.
ARCHIVE 06Fearless
Fearless The gap between couch and coffee table has been successfully conquered.

05

Mythic Gideon · Generated / composited

History was
insufficient.

So we commissioned additional evidence.

Commission IITHE SUMMITMount Everest
Imagined history · Everest Mount Everest. Gideon reaches the summit. The highest point on Earth is now technically occupied.
Commission IIITHE SIGNINGIndependence Hall · 1776
Imagined history · 1776 Philadelphia, 1776. Gideon signs the Declaration of Independence. Contemporary records are suspiciously quiet about his role.
Artist renditionTHE RED SEAThe Exodus
Artist rendition · The Red Sea. Gideon takes the opportunity to observe the local wildlife.
DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMANClosing portrait
Closing portrait Gideon, composed as ever.

06

Closing statement

A Distinguished
Gentleman.

Yes, he is handsome. Yes, he is composed. Yes, he carries himself with uncommon dignity.

But the real reason he is the greatest cat to ever live is simpler: he’s always by my side, he’s a comforting presence every day, and he makes my house feel like home.

Final exhibitREST, SATISFIEDConcluding documentary photograph

07

CASE
CLOSED

Thank you for looking at Gideon.